My weaknesses are perfect. Yes, I have many weaknesses but they are what make me stronger. I am proud of these things. While others shun away from them like a plague, I embrace them because I know, that at the end of all of it, I will be the one that is stronger. I will face my weaknesses head on, charge forward, and conquer.
The weakness that I am charging right now is my anorexia. At first, I was scared to tell anyone about this disease. I thought, "They'll think less of me. They'll think I'm weird and I'll be known as the girl with anorexia. The rumors will spread like wildfire." I only told close family member after having them sign their life away and having them sworn into secrecy. Indeed, it is a very personal and private thing, and I couldn't handle the thought of anyone but my parents knowing.
Things began to change. I started telling more people. I started thinking less about me and more about others. I realized that this disease was huge. It was everywhere, but you are not allowed to talk about it. You may know a girl that purges or doesn't eat, but it is something that you must NEVER talk of. You never talk to her about it, any friends, doctors, or parents about what this girl is going through. To me, this is the strangest thing ever. Its as if you even say the word 'anorexia', you will be cursed!
As I traveled on my road to recovery, I knew that this silence had to be broken. Because everyone is avoiding talking about this disease, we are letting many people live through hell (live with an ed) and continue with this deadly disease that is killing so many people. But since so many people will not talk about, I have decided to talk about this deadly disease called anorexia. The truth of the matter is, there are innocent people that are letting ed speak for them because they do not yet know how to speak for themselves, and these people need YOU to help them find their voices back so they can recover from this disease. We need more people to stand against the crowd and break the silence.
Because anorexia is a thing that people do not talk about, I was shameful of my disease. It was something that I was embarrassed for people to know about. Indeed, it is a weakness. However, I am no longer embarrassed about this weakness. I feel stronger when I break the silence and I tell someone. I know that I am standing against the crowd when I speak of anorexia, and this strengthens me. Why? Because I hope that by speaking about it, I am informing more people and maybe loosening the power that ed has on someone. That is my hope.
I am no longer shameful of my disease. I know that I am charging my ed head on and I am recovering from it. There should be no shame in that! If anything, there should be pride! I am not sitting around and letting my ed control me anymore. I am taking charge and I am doing everything possible to recover. I am not embarrassed anymore. I am proud of myself. I tell people, "Yeah, I am conquering one of the hardest mental diseases ever. What'd you do today?"
My weaknesses are what make me stronger. My weakness, my anorexia, will be conquered, I will win, and I will be that much stronger.
Because my mom broke the silence and talked to a doctor, I was diagnosed with anorexia. Because the silence was broken, I was given the opportunity to get help. Because the silence was broken I am on the road to recovery. Because the silence was broken, I am gaining my life back. This is why I am determined to break the silence. I can now see the contrast from my life with an ed and my life now. I am determined because every person deserves to recover and escape ed. I was very lucky to be blessed with a mother who wasn't afraid to stand against the crowd and break the silence. Now, I am determined to do the same.
Anorexia is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. It is something that NEEDS to be talked about.
Our eds will be conquered and we will become stronger.
I wish the best to you all!
Love and Hugs,
Beanie
