The Yellow Beast. Also Known As Pac Man

Pac Man

Freaking amazing! I now have a yellow circle with a chomping mouth stuck in my head. Apparently, he goes by the name of Pac Man. However, I know it is ed with a different appearance. I guess ed got a makeover while I was not paying attention and focusing on recovery. He made a clever and strategic move in his game, but I quickly noticed what he was up to! I made it clear, as I threw his game pieces aside and said "Checkmate," that I am the winner of any game he plays with me.

          Ed seems to be making less appearances in my life. This is great! However, Pacman likes to chomp at every bit of my life. One day, I noticed that he started taking control of my cleaning. Confused? I will explain. You see, I keep a very neat house, but something started to tell me that it was not clean enough. 

           Thinking that I must change this horrible incident, I started vacuuming. This is fine and all, but this was my second time vacuuming in one day! I started to hear this strange sound as I was cleaning. I turned the vacuum off and listened. This noise I was hearing started to get very annoying! I was absolutely appalled when I discovered the source! This yellow circle with a mouth was chomping in my head! Because it was in my head, it was quite difficult to even find him in there! Nevertheless, I found this, now called, Pac Man chomping away at the section of my mind that controls my cleaning! Are you kidding me? Without skipping a chomp, this hideous circle said to me "No, now keep cleaning!" 

          Who does this Pac Man think he is you may ask? Well my friends, you are asking the wrong question! It is not who he thinks he is, but who he actually is! 

           *Spoiler Alert*

Again I tell you, Pac Man is ed! 

           Knowing of eds new attire, I quickly took my cleaning skills to good use and swept Pac Man out of my mind and out an ear! 

          A few days later I was sitting at my desk and doing some homework. Innocent enough? No. I was doing homework and I started hearing a very familiar sound. The noise sounded like someone who was eating chips with their mouth open! "Ah ha! Pac Man! So we meet again! Seriously though dude, you need to work on your sneak attack and chew with your mouth closed! Geez, you just go chomping away with your mouth wide open!"

          Because I caught him before he could fulfill his plan of complete and utter destruction of my peaceful life, the blow was not as hard. I was able to pick up my pieces and continue. When I refer to 'picking up my pieces', yes, I was not able to leave the battle of Pac Man & Bean without a few battle wounds. That particular night of doing homework consisted of guilt followed by tears and tissues, followed by hugs that calmed me down and stopped my crying, followed by feeling like a failure, followed by more tears, followed by comfort from my husband, followed by exhaustion from all the crying, followed by a trashcan full of tissues, followed by feeling better. All though it was a long series of events, I feel like I won this battle. I know that it could have been a lot worse a year ago! The end of the battle concluded by blowing Pac Man out of my mind and throwing that tissue away!

          I continued my week fully aware of signs of Pac Man. I was very cautious to not let him back in my mind! I realized that he has a desire to chomp (or control) that never gets fulfilled. He tried to chomp and control my eating but I finally denied him of that. Next, he decided to control and chomp away at my cleaning. As I discovered his sneaky attack, I was able to sweep him right on out of my mind! Because he has this strong desire to control something in my life, he tried to start chomping away at my school. Catching him red handed, I was able to blow him out of my nose and into a tissue that is now somewhere rotting away in a land field. 

          Even though I kick him and deny him access to my mind, he still finds another way back and cleverly comes through a different direction. Knowing my opponents game plan has been very helpful. Pac Man just wants to control something in my life. He continues to enter my mind through different things. Cleaning, homework, the way I dress, how I put my makeup on, how I spend my time, and so forth! He keeps sneaking in and telling me that I am not good enough, I am not working hard enough, I am a failure at everything I do! But, knowing Pac Man's strategy has been so helpful.

           I just have to keep fighting and turn that stupid Pac Man game off whenever I start to hear that annoying chomping sound! He just wants to control something, but I am not going to let him! When I hear him, I turn that game off to put that stupid yellow circle out of his misery because I know that he will never fulfill his desire in my head! I will never let him chomp away at my brain again! I am too smart for that Pac Man! So think again before you bring your chomping mouth around me, cause I will never give you what you want! 

          And with that, I say, "Game Over!"