My Dark Shadow

Attached at heels, mocking every step precisely is a dark silhouette. Making imagination and personal thoughts known to the world. As the head goes down with disappointment and sadness, the flaws that haunt and scream in mind find the eyes and make them cringe. 

But its attached at heels and cannot be removed until the sun goes down and out comes the moon. My shadow is anxiety that resists to leave. But at night, when it should be gone, I feel it start to surround me. I cannot pull the darkness of night away from my shadow. They intermingle until it messes with my mind. 

The day is better because I am aware of where it stands. The sun shines down on my head so my shadow is not so big. But as the day grows, my shadow, it lengthens. The sun moves down and its light hits me where it hurts. I am strong in my mind, so prepared when it is hit. However, I am weak in the middle, where it is easy to bend, where it is meant to bend and roll, where I hurt when it is mentioned. My stomach, my gut, what is suppose to be my core, is where I am sore because I am weak when the light hits me there. It hits me perpendicularly and my shadow, it grows. The sun hits me in the core and anxiety is harder to manage.

Trying as hard as I can,  I run. I run after my shadow, in the hope of  stomping on it and making it vanish. I run until I cannot breathe because it seems impossible to challenge to disperse anxiety. The shadow continues to lengthen until I cannot reach it any longer. I begin to panic and breathing is difficult still.

Darkness is powerful, but light is better. So at night, it seems I shatter. My shadow is all around me now. And its painful because I do not know darkness from my shadow. So there it is, on every single wall, watching me, mocking me, my feelings are dull. They are numb, and I don't know what to do. So I sit with my tears and wait for day to come. 

My anxiety is strong and my shadow is big. It frustrates me that I cannot stomp and crush it into the ground. Because I will never outrun my shadow. Its attached at the heels. But maybe if I look toward the sun I won't see it.